GEORGE W. BUSH
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, DC 20520
EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:
Law Enforcement: I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine , in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available.
Law Enforcement: I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine , in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available.
Military: I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use.
College: I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.
College: I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.
WORK EXPERIENCE:
I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:
I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.
I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.
I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.
I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.
I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.
I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history.
I am the all- time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.
I appointed more convicted criminals to my administration than any President in U.S. history.
I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.
I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.
I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.
I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protests against any person in the history of mankind.
I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice.
RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
All records of my tenure as governor of Texas, SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies, and records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed and unavailable for public view. I specified that my sealed documents will not be available for 50 years.
"If you don't think it could happen think again my son/ Be prepared for the worst that's yet to come/ We want freedom, prophecies and ancient wisdom/ Cataclysm, niggas be like fuck the system" - dead prez
*information sent my mass e-mail. hell yeah - CYBER REBELS!
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